Miscellany and detritus, from the writer of Is This Mutton?com

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Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Spare us from The Voice

I'm not surprised that The Voice UK is mentioned in despatches on Tripe Advisor. It is quite toe curlingly awful.

The two hippies whose days are numbered
The first week or two it seemed a novelty to have the judges turning round in their chairs when an act tickled their fancy.

Now we're into the screech-offs, where two of the stables compete against each other each week in order to be "saved" by the public.

My mum has got the right idea, hitting the mute button as soon as the screeching starts.

Two of the judges appear to have the right credentials, gravitas and name dropping : Tom Jones and will.i.am. The other two are there to appeal to the BBC's holy grail, the yoof audience. Jessie J and what's-his-name from Ireland.

The Sunday night results show, which it transpires is recorded immediately after the Saturday show, is a real waste of time. Endless repetition from the Saturday show and nuggets like this: Jessie J, supposedly offering an insight into her fellow judge, the Irish one - "he's a singer and song writer."  You don't say!

Holly Willoughby has a really irritating way of grabbing the contestants  (has she been watching Big Fat Gipsy Weddings?) and hurling them off the stage. One of her cringeworthy moments was grabbing an Irish girl who had just been eliminated by posey old will.i.am and saying "Will really needs a hug."

I'm sure the poor girl, whose dreams of escaping a backwater and finding fame were now in the dust, really needed the hug more.

Every week the judges weep and wail about how difficult their task is, choosing one contestant over another. "It's the hardest thing I've ever done," they despair. I wish one of them would man up and say "well tonight your voice let you down so I'm going to choose xxx." Quite a few of the contestants would look more at home singing along to pub karaoke or screeching on a cruise ship than going for gold on national TV.

Then there's Wardrobe. As soon as they're confronted with what Grazia likes to call "a curvy girl," they immediately reach for the wrap dress and Spanx. These poor women immediately look staid, boring and interchangeable. Where's the imagination? A size 16 girl doesn't have to wear a wrap dress.

The only good thing about it is that it's knocked the even-more-deplorable Britain's Got Talent off the top ratings slot. Good to see a dent in the massive ego of emotionally dysfunctional Simon Cowell.



That's Not My Age said...

I watched it once and couldn't bear all the shouting! Who is that bloke from Ireland?

Steve said...

Hi there Gail. I totally agree with your comments. What I find most upsetting about this garbage is that it's the sort of thing ou expect to see on ITV not BBC. Infuriates me to think my licence fee is paying for this trash.

Bill Blunt said...

I have so far managed to avoid anything but a glimpse of this show. It's definitely lowest common denominator stuff, though. Tripe indeed!

Anne @ The Frump Factor said...

Hee! "Screech-offs!" Love that.

I've been decrying the pandemic of "scream-singing" for some time. We only get "American Idol" over here, but I expect it's the same. Ugh.

lucylastic said...

There's something utterly compelling aboiut it nevertheless - couldn't agree more on the wardrobe front - poor Ruth - a 'curvy girl' dressed like Alice in Wonderland or Shirley Temple - I wlould have refused to peform in that get-up! I shall probably keep watching though - saddo that I am :-) Lucy

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