(Slaps hand across forehead).
OK ok, so I fell for Kelly's "I'm rubbish at the Viennese Waltz" nonsense, and should have known better. It was a set up to make us feel sorry for her. She always was really good at it.
I'm talking Strictly Come Dancing of course. Another cliff hanger thanks to the public vote. I never would have expected to see Matt in the dance off: I thought the teenage girl vote was his (well, shared between him and Gethin).
So quite a shock to see him and Penny competing to stay. I knew it was a no-brainer that Penny would go. Her salsa was too frantic and needy. And she has less potential than Matt. I don't think he's had one bad dance, except arguably his first one.
Very disappointed to see Ian Waite go out at this stage. He's my favourite (so there, Brucie).
I did get one thing right, which was that John Barnes delivered a great salsa. I knew he would! I was disappointed by Letitia's (and her dress wasn't great again - the one she wore in the group dance was much better). But I think the best salsa of all was Alesha's.
I find the Viennese Waltz a real "zzzzzz" but my favourite couple, if I have to have one, was Camilla and Gethin's. He's coming on leaps and bounds each week and you can see him gaining in confidence. I thought theirs was very romantic, unlike Brendan and Kelly's which was posey and self centred as per usual.
What can I say about Kate? I really did think she would go this week, having shown a slight improvement last week (and therefore a dip in the public's need to drag her back for further humiliation). But her salsa was just the worst dance I think she's ever done. Freed from Anton's iron fists, as he normally drags her round the dancefloor, she went freestyle with laughable results. Next to her, Letitia looked like.....(insert your favourite lady dancer here).
When Bruce talks about "the public" I always immediately think of Kate's demographic: the staunch, fiercely loyal GMTV viewer. Who is this person? Whoever it is, she's in danger of dancing into the final at this rate!
Finally, a word as usual on "Dancing with the Stars." Jane Seymour went out this week. She didn't dance badly, in fact she scored three eights for her first dance and eights and nines for the second. But what she did do, shamelessly, was talk about how special the dance was for her special friendship with Johnny Cash and his wife. Cue video of JC with one of Jane's children. I'm afraid to say it was all too vomitworthy even for the Americans, and they gave Jane the boot.
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