PE Traumas



Me aged 11
I couldn't find the photo of me
with a hockey stick

There was a report this week that said many women are put off exercising for life because of the trauma of PE/PT at school.

I don't believe it. They're put off because it's BORING.

My friends won't be surprised to know I was never very sporty at school. My set rather looked down on the sporty ones. It wasn't cool to perspire, throw things or brandish sticks.

I wasn't complete rubbish but I couldn't really be bothered. I never gave 100%. I was punished for this in every double PE class. The teacher would choose two captains and ask them to name their team, one girl at a time. I was always third to last  (there were two girls worse than me).

Ironically, on the one occasion I was chosen to be a captain and name my squad, I decided I'd go for gold and selected all the girls who were sporty. My non-sporty friends were horrified, still left at the back. But I wanted a bit of a glory for a change.

I had a memorable disaster in hockey when I was about 12. My chosen position was left wing because I found I could run up and down a lot, looking busy, but without actually doing very much. Well, on this occasion someone raised their stick and hit me in the mouth. I had to have two stitches, and got told off by the awful cookery teacher for taking my unwashed bloodied face into her pristine kitchen in search of the Dettol.

Netball was never great, you need to be as tall as Meadowlark Lemon. And don't you think those little vests with "GA" and "WA" on them look really silly? 

Anyway, lest you think I was a couch potato, when I was a kid I would be out playing until dusk: turning a skipping rope, skipping, cycling, making a den or er....fighting.

My school experiences didn't put me off exercise. I just find it very BORING. I've tried running. I have a peculiar gait: I'm told I run on tip toes. Once you know that, it puts you off. I'm sure everyone's having a snigger at my expense. I have an expensive gym membership, but I seldom go. I like yoga but there's only one class that works for me, time-wise. I like swimming and aqua, but swimming hats don't keep my hair dry and I don't want to ruin my highlights.

All excuses, I know. I could go on. I've tried Bodypump but my knees aren't up to all the squats. I'm too un-cordinated for aerobics, step, etc. I'm still doing my grapevine while everyone else is at the other end of the room doing something with their arms as well.

Sometimes I say to myself that I just need to man up and put some time in on the aerobic machines. I find them hideously BORING, even when I'm listening to music or watching the TV. I can just about tolerate 10 minutes on one machine. The theory is that I then do 10 minutes on the next. How it usually works is that I do 10 minutes and then sneak off to the weights. Because I really like lifting the weights! It's not too arduous and you get results fast.

And then I can reward myself with the sauna and jacuzzi (provided it isn't full of men ----- nothing on earth will induce me to get in, if it is).

How was your sporting life at school, and what's it like now?