Kate isn't a saint

I was amused to see one of the harpies (ie a woman columnist for one of the nationals) last week claiming that actress Kate Winslet fulfils all the criteria to be an icon to men and women. Yet today Kate is castigated by the boilers for blubbing when she won two awards at the Golden Globes on Monday.

True, she was embarrassingly snivelly and incomprehensible, and yes, it did bear comparison with the hideous performances of Gwyneth Paltrow and Halle Berry. Yes, these ladies should try to get some perspective. But it's not a crime, and the harpies should cut Kate some slack.

They've put her on a pedestal for some reason and still labour under the misapprehension that Kate is a normal Reading lass who had sausage and mash at her wedding and has somehow struck it lucky in Los Angeles with her glittering film career.

They don't seem to realise that Kate has moved on!

Sausage and mash was at her first wedding reception - and the marriage ended. Her second wedding, to Sam Mendes, was a different affair. She's a much more toned, glossy and groomed Kate than she was back in Titantic days. She maintains her figure with a harsh regime of diet and exercise. She might love her food but these days she knows she won't get work unless she is a US size 6 at the max.

The fact that she appears in big budget blockbusters and has Oscar nominations cascading down on her bears witness to how hard she has worked and how she understands the system over in LA.

So if she acts like a "lovey" and starts blubbing at the Oscars next month - assuming that her Golden Globes are precursors to The Big One - don't criticise her. It's what superstars do!

ps. I don't have a lot of respect for the tabloid lady writers - Jan Moir, Amanda Platell, Liz Jones and their predecessors, Lynda Lee Potter, Jean Rook. They're generally a disgrace to women and far worse even than some of the Neanderthal male writers like Clarkson and the ridiculous Rod Liddle.

Celebrities who lie about their looks

Lying celebrities. The ones who say their good looks are down to genes and healthy eating. They make me so mad. They add to the worries that women have about their looks and ageing. Sophia Loren for example: fabulous in her 70s. She enigmatically says she has a special recipe for her good looks. Yes, probably everything going! Face lift, brow lift, Botox, Restylane. Or Goldie Hawn, who says she has had no surgery (but today's modern equivalent is all the collagen and injections, and she no doubt has those). Joan Collins is the worse. You can see from her frozen face, and the funny little wrinkles on the side of her mouth, that she isn't natural, but she insists nature was very kind to her. Tosh.

Then there are Victoria Beckham's ludicrous breasts. A picture in Hello this week shows the two footballs looking as if they've been stuck onto her flat bony chest. Apparently, claims Jordan (Katie Price), Posh told her they were fake and even gave her a flash in a loo. Yet she steadfastly maintains she's had nothing done. (Frankly dear, you should ask for your money back, they're appalling).

So respect to the celebs who come clean. Jordan for one. Goodness knows why she had Botox at her age. I saw Bonnie Tyler recently ("It's a heartache") and she happily confessed to Botox and Restylane. Toyah Wilcox. Anne Robinson. I don't think they lose face by admitting it. They show they're human and they have the same worries and frailties as the rest of us. Meanwhile the celebs who lie, who disguise themselves and turn up at hospitals in the dead of night, are trying to perpetuate some sad myth about themselves and they just seem ridiculous.

Frock Horrors

Come on own up - one of the reasons we like seeing the red carpet parade at the Oscars is to see who blew it, in terms of their dress and hair! I always look forward to the Hello magazine Oscar coverage for this reason.

This year Sky were trumping their high definition coverage, but it turned out to be just a preview show with Fearne Cotton. Very disappointing. She's got the right combination of cheek and bubble but she would have benefitted from having a co-presenter so that when she finished an interview she could turn to someone and chat, instead of inanely looking at the camera and saying "she looked lovely." Patrick Kielty or Graham Norton would be great for this. Maybe we'd get some honest assessments of the frock horrors!

We didn't see all the stars in that prog, but here's my take on the ones we saw. Firstly, what's with that awful beige / nude / skintone colour? It doesn't suit anyone. Even Penelope Cruz looked washed out with a dress the same colour as her skin. She looks so much more vibrant in a colour like red.

Helen Mirren looked wonderful. Usually her dresses are a bit so-so. But this year she looked spectacular. Her figure was amazing for her age. And, good for her, she turned down the pre-Oscars Botox and fillers. Hurrah for a woman who looks great for her age (60) without that spooky, smooth, bland look (Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchett).

Talking of Cate Blanchett, she looked very skinny in a gunmetal grey tight fitting number. JLO looked huge. I lose track of whether or not she's pregnant; it seems there's a new story every week, so perhaps she is and I've forgotten. If she isn't, she may have been eating too many pies. Jennifer Hudson looked pretty ghastly.

I remember seeing Rachel Weisz but I don't remember what she wore, so it must have been one of those beige numbers. You start to cry out for something emerald or fushsia.

Apart from those ladies, and a couple of others whose names escape me, we didn't see any of the other big stars. So I'll have to wait for Hello to see what Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Cameron Diaz, Charlize Theron, Kate Winslett and the other big hitters wore. Renee Zellweger always wears the same style of Caroline Herrera dress, so I don't consider her a contender. Last year's winner for me was Theron in that striking Dior black dress. And Salma Hayek, who was wearing a vivid colour and showcasing a spectacular bosom.

Not to mention our own VB. I'm sure she must have been lurking somewhere. In fact I saw a picture of her at the pre Oscars party, and she did look pretty good in white.