Is it just me...or Has Strictly Come Dancing gone a little lame?

I was eagerly awaiting the first glimpse of the dancing celebs on Friday and tweeting my excitement about the return of the sparkles. Yes, I was still keen, even though I'd seen the list of mostly z listers who would be competing.

But as it all got going, and there seemed so many unnecessary extras before we saw the first couple, I started to think Has Strictly Gone The Way of Downton and Become A Bit Lame? (It was such a sobering thought it was all in capitals).

There was the matter of Claudia. What I've always liked about her is her studied noncomformity. The fringe and short sighted eyes peering out; the black eyeliner which runs when she's on the red carpet;  the policy of any colour as long as it's black; the strange gait and the awkward shuffling from one foot to the other.

But the BBC stylists had clearly had other ideas and on Friday, clad in a lurid pink which drained her of colour and minus her pale lippy and eyeliner, poor Claudia looked 10 years older, and, worse still, ordinary.

Fortunately a Twitter furore saw her usual look reinstated on Saturday.  She was back to black.

Tess meanwhile was rising to the challenge quite well, if she stops doing that awful tongue in cheek thing, but I had the distinct impression the judges were not supporting her very well. A couple of times she asked a question and I don't think she meant them to be rhetorical.

As for the celebrities, I realise it's a challenge to find people who are well-known but "resting,"  because SCD is probably a full-time job from now until the final. Secondly, the pay is not much of an incentive, except for the pop stars and stage school luvvies who expect to make it to the quarter finals.  It's only £25k for everyone to start with, rising at the end of October for those left.

And I realise that by competing head-to-head with that awful rubbish on ITV, the BBC needed to attract names who would appeal to a younger audience.  Hence the inclusion of people like Mark Wright from the ridiculous Towie.

But this year's line-up is dull by anyone's standards. The only glimmer of hope comes in the relationship between Masterchef's grocer Gregg Wallace and Aliona Villani.  It's plain she couldn't stand him and what he alleges are his jokes.  Will she have enough time to do something with this dad dancer? Or will he be released back into the hinterlands of Twitter and doomed romances with girls half his age?

Then there was the sulky countenance of former rugby player Thom Evans. I suspect he was stitched up into making himself seem like Fred Astaire in his intro (he's a bighead, my Mum ventured), and then realised after the judges laid into him that he wasn't going to be anywhere near the top of the leaderboard. His face was a picture for the rest of the show and Saturday's.

Alison Hammond shone:
not only has she a light step but she is full of personality. I just wish the judges would be a bit less patronising. Their surprise that yet another big bird could dance was all too obvious.

There were quite a few who I lost interest in before they even finished their routine:  Caroline Fluck (who?), a Radio 1 DJ, Pixie Lott, the latest boy from Blue, the Towie boy, the Casualty lady.

Frankie Bridge from The Saturdays was gorgeous and sailed through a delightful routine. The bruiser bloke from EastEnders was surprisingly good, although unsuprisingly mean and moody in a tango. Judy Murray was nervous and stiff but showed she's a likeable lady.

Some of the routines were very repetitive. How many times have we seen Ola's routine to loud rock music where she and the male stamp around glowering? Zzzz.


I'm hoping things improve once the eliminations start  but at the moment, it's all a bit too lame rather than lamé for me.

Strictly Come Dancing 2013: The Lowdown

A couple of people asked me recently why I haven't been blogging.

I was thrilled, thinking only robots read my posts.

The robots give me hilarious comments full of mispellings saying things like "you such great writer I love your posts please check my blog XXXX."

Anyway, the reason for no blogging is that I felt I'd said it all.  The blog was becoming like a cyberspace Groundhog Day.

But, pressed into giving my thoughts on such heavyweight topics as this year's Strictly Come Dancing line-up, I decided to return to the fray.

Note new blog photo showing us at the summit of Skiddaw, England's third highest mountain, on our holiday in the Lake District.

Let's have a quick fox trot through the contestants:

The Boys
Are a bit of a boring lot this year and I am not expecting great things from any of them, except maybe Whats-his-name from Hollyoaks. The Hairy Biker Dave is admirably channelling the God of Dance John Sergeant, but I feel he is capable of much more than just stomping around.

The rugby player Ben Cohen is like one of those big American fridges being moved around the floor on castors. He has already done a ballet class and I predict he will soon be getting acting lessons.

The one from Casualty, Patrick Robinson,  is a smooth number aged 50. Could potentially do well, but I'm not sure he's trying very hard. Incidentally, his character in Casualty was the reason my mum stopped watching it. She found it too ludicrous that he was a nurse, left the series and came back as a doctor.

Mark Benton is this year's Lisa Riley: big chap who wants to prove he's nimble on the dancefloor.  Doing OK, but looks horribly scruffy during rehearsals. One wants to reach for the Lynx.

Julien Macdonald, fashion designer, blotted his copybook by either being stoned or drunk in the opening night and screeching unpredictably in a way that bothered Bruce. I remember Macdonald when he first appeared on Britain's Next Top Model as a judge. He's had an Elle McPherson directed makeover. He used to be fat with long lank hair. Now he's a preening peacock with a forehead smoother than a baby's. I predict he'll be in the dance-off again this weekend.

The Girls  (said in Hattie Jacques' voice from Carry on Camping)

I'm predicting a 3 way final between Abbey Clancy, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Natalie Gumede.

Sophie did the most fab - u - lous Charleston.  I reckon she'll do it again in the final and get top marks all round. Clancy is the pouting, hair tossing wife of footballing legend (not John's view|) Peter Crouch.  She's very good, but I wonder if she has vote appeal. Too much posturing. That toned midriff is a mixed blessing for the voting demographic.

Vanessa Feltz is a wiley old so-and-so. She suffers from misconceptions. People tend to think of her as loud, shouty and bossy. When I knew she was taking over the Radio 2 early show I groaned, thinking it would be too noisy. But she is a revelation. She listens intently to the people who call in and her use of English is sublime. Even her "potted history of the show thus far" is a daily mini masterpiece.

In a masterstroke, Feltz was seen blubbing over James Jordan in their lovely waltz, admitting the dance made her remember old love affairs. Transformed into someone vulnerable she sailed through, and if she keeps it up, may stay in for a while.

Fiona Fullerton, always plugged as "former Bond girl" is the oldest lady in the show at 56, and looks great. She's also a talented dancer so for once Anton isn't the comedy turn. She could do very well because Anton has his own fan base of elderly ladies.

Natalie Gumede is this year's Coronation Street entry and she seems a bit bland to me, but a good dancer from the stage school trained intake.

Dragon's Den star Deborah Meaden is radically remodelling herself and coming across very well. The miracles performed on her and Feltz by the wardrobe department with Spanx and Lycra are amazing.

Newsreader Susanna Reid is coming across as a bit frantic, desperate to impress and too orange. Her hair is too dark and she spends too much time in the tanning booth.

Finally Rachel Riley from Countdown doesn't seem to be trying very hard, and that's something we can't forgive.

Finally a word on the Bruce situation. Agree with the majority on Twitter who said last week's show was better without him. It had a new energy with Tess and Claudia presiding. There was no sense of dread. "Will Bruce forget his lines?"  "Will he look startled as usual when the camera finds him after Tess?"  "Will he forget the names of the dancers and judges?"  I just hope that when he does retire, the BBC will not decide to get in another man just for the sake of it, but will stick with the winning formula of Tess and Claudia.

That's my round up - what do you think? Who's your favourite so far? Mine are Sophie and Fiona.

Strictly: the story so far

After two shows in the new season, everyone has danced and we've had the usual handful of strategic injuries  (eg Denise Van Outen with "whiplash" yet still managing cart wheels and a stunning jive); a new judge with an irritating habit, and Tess wearing dresses that lead everyone to ask if she is pregnant.

Yes, Strictly Come Dancing is back and the formula is the same:  someone from a boy band, someone from a girl band, someone from EastEnders, someone from ITV, a  low league filmstar, etc.

Gratifyingly it is beating X Factor by around a million viewers. I'm surprised people still watch X Factor, given that it's such a cynical exercise in making money. The phone lines open before anyone has even performed, and the judges are told who to put through.

Anyway. Aside from that. My views on #SCD and in particular:

1) The return of the dance-off
Bad news! It means that judges can cling on to their favourites when quite rightly the public have decided they should go.  I'm thinking that this time it might mean that Denise Van Outen gets a ticket for the final when most of us are incensed that she's in the show in the first place. As her jive showed, she's virtually at professional standard.  She can argue all she likes that she hasn't had Latin and ballroom experience, but when you're a natural dancer, and you've danced in two musicals, it's irrelevant.She will pick up new steps much faster than someone like Victoria Pendleton or the ousted Johnny Ball who haven't had stage school training or West End stage experience.

2) Darcey Bussell
The new judge brings some more technical expertise to the panel, even though it seems to be limited to contestants' arm placement and finger finishing. But she has a really irritating habit of saying "yah?" at the end of the most sentences. She reduced this in the latest show, but there was some yah leakage.

3) Judges with favourites
It's very obvious this time who's a favourite with the judges. They were very harsh on Colin Salmon, Kimberley Walsh and the bloke from Westlife.  But they're disproportionately kind and effusive with Van Outen, Dani Harmer, Victoria Pendleton and Fern Britton. Victoria deserves some support: she's never danced before and she doesn't have much confidence. But judges need to remember the word BALANCE.

Tess in one of last year's dresses

4) Tess's dresses
Last year Tess wore a succession of dresses with one shoulder and a side split. This year she is sporting tight satin numbers. Last week's white dress was cheap looking; this week my mum was asking if Tess was pregnant, so uncompromising is the tightness of the satin. We need to notice the Tess and not the dresss. At the moment it's the other way round. On the subject of Tess, the animosity between her and Sir Bruce is all too apparent. I think Tess is fed up with being his Anthea Redfern foil. She's totally different when presenting with Claudia. Bruce has upped his game this time. I've sniggered at a couple of his terrible jokes, and I laughed when he rushed over to kiss Craig after James and Van Outen.

5) My favourites

Colin Salmon

Like Brucie, I have my favourites. Colin Salmon is gorgeous, smooth, silky voiced. Sid from EastEnders is much better than anyone expected and fun. Lisa Riley is lovely and I'm so glad she made a stand about not wanting to be the comedy turn because she's a larger lady. My fear is that as we get near to the final, if she's in dance off with Van Outen, the judges will probably put Van Outen through, even though the public will vote in droves for Lisa.

I'm taken by the cricketer too, Michael Vaughan. He comes across very well. Kimberley Walsh looks beautiful and not irritating, unlike some of her other Girls Aloud colleagues  (Sarah Harding, Cheryl "Chav" Cole).

6) Get Them Out
The one dancer I hope to see the back of quite quickly is Fern Britton, for reasons you can read here.
I wasn't surprised to read in a gossip rag that she's unpopular with the other contestants because of her bitchy remarks.

I'm not very keen on Louis Smith either. There's a bit of petulance there, don't you think?

And I'm thinking that Anton du Buerk is well past his sell-by date.  His celebrities do badly because his choreography is terrible. Plus he doesn't boss them around enough. Jerry Hall is more than capable of dancing properly, from what we've seen, but she's lazy and Anton has given in to her. Let's have some new British dance talent next year.

Sickness and injury threaten Strictly Come Dancing

Well, what a night: first Brucie is laid up with the flu; then Jade does something to her knee and can't deliver the paso doble, and then Laila, with an ankle problem, limps off during her dance in tears.

As I expected, the silly public kept her in, even though she'd only done half a dance - badly, and Tuffers was evicted in the dance-off after Ricky Groves significantly upped his game.

The tears and histrionics make me smile. Ricky Groves, in his "keep me in, I'm on a journey" little speech (after lines had closed) burst into tears. C'mon guys, it's only a dance competition! I am more concerned about Jade's Olympic chances now that she has a knee problem, rather than will we ever see her paso doble.

So we have two clear front runners, Ali Bastian, whose chances are boosted by a strange little romance with her partner Brian Fortuna (it will last as long as the show, I predict), and Ricky Whittle (not Groves as I mistakenly said earlier today.) I reckon they will be in the final along with Natalie Cassidy and Vincente, if there are three couples in the final. Natalie is doing a good "tortoise and hare" but she will never quite reach the natural brilliance and ease of the other two celebrities.

Bruce has nothing to worry about after seeing Tess elevated to his role. What was Ronnie Corbett doing there? Absolute waste of time. Tess, I have read, considers herself the star of the show and no doubt put up a big fight to be allowed to do the Brucie role. But she is nothing more than a hostess, an Anthea Redfern, in a lovely dress. She can't sing or dance and she isn't funny.

If I was her I would be worried about my day job, seeing how easily Claudia Winkleman (pictured) made the transition to the after dance interviews. The atmosphere significantly lightened and she was amusing and irreverent. Drawing attention to Natalie's bow made of hair: that's the sort of insightful observation we want to see!