Getting to know Raquel



Glam at 70



That's Raquel Welch, not Raquel Wolstenhulme.

I've just been reading her book "Raquel: Beyond the Cleavage". It's not exactly an autobiography: there's quite a lot of biography, but then it suddenly becomes a treatise for women with Raquel's views on all manner of things, plus a few chapters where Raquel gives her beauty and fashion tips.
I've always been a bit fascinated by Raquel Welch. As she says in her book, she's been fairly enigmatic without giving many interviews throughout her career. She's able to give a list of men including Richard Burton, Burt Bacharach, Burt Reynolds, Warren Beatty (it goes on) and teasingly asks us which one she had a relationship with. And we probably don't have a clue.
I find that she's even more of an enigma after reading the book.


The other Raquel (Wolstenhulme)



Made famous by that shot of her in a fur bikini, Welch apparently became very stroppy whenever directors expected her to take her clothes off. Maybe that's how she got the reputation she has for being difficult. Anyway, you have to admire her principles. It seems that she wanted to be a serious actress, and indeed, has always thought herself to be a serious actress, but because of that wretched photo, everyone treated her as a sex symbol. Very irritating.

In her beauty and fashion tips, she talks at length about plastic surgery and injectibles, but doesn't say whether or not she's had any of it. She does own up to using "Frownies," tiny bits of cardboard you stick on wrinkles at night. I think she's trying to kid us all that she's had nothing done. But you don't look like she does at 70 without a bit of help.

I did warm to her after she admitted to putting on 15 extra pounds during the writing of the book, because an injury meant she wasn't able to exercise. Phew, the woman is human! I was beginning to doubt it after she gave a example of her daily diet. You know the sort of thing: breakfast, egg white omelette. Lunch: salad. Dinner: steamed fish.

Random thoughts: Kelly Brook, Madonna, The Restaurant

Yesterday: Chingford to Swindon and return, total 5 hours. Dentressangle:0, Bailey's equine horse feeds 0, Wilkinson's, 0 (maybe I wasn't looking hard enough).



Random thoughts a-plenty.

Kelly Brook was on one of the news bulletins having opened in her first west end play, Fat Pig. Now Kelly is a ravishing girl, invariably referred to as "curvy Kelly" in the magazines. But she always strikes me as a girl in search of a talent. Goodness knows she tries hard enough. There's been TV presenting, but she only ever comes across as wooden. I caught a glimpse of her in "Dirty Dancing - Time of their Lives" the other day and was appalled when she referred to two candidates as "them two." Whaaaat!

I saw her in a film where she was some Italian countess or some old nonsense, and again, she gave Westonbirt Arboretum a run for its money.

I haven't seen any reviews of her new role yet but seeing as she wears a bikini on stage, I doubt if her acting ability will matter very much.

She has an old-style glamour about her, reminscent of Sophia Loren, but as soon as she opens her mouth it all goes wrong. She has one of those ordinary twittery little girl voices and keeps saying "and um," and giggling. If I was you Kelly, I would have some voice coaching. And keep up with the acting lessons.

Dear Madonna
I'm sure you're pretty fed up with Guy but it would be nice for Lourdes and the gang if you and he didn't have an acrimonious public divorce. I see that you have both hired top-flight "name" divorce lawyers. I see that you're both saying you want a civilised divorce and yet you're both deploying the unsavoury tactic of getting friends and insiders to do your carping in the press. I know you savour control, Madonna, but try to be big about this. If Guy's "insiders" spill the beans, you don't have to respond. Be dignified. For all our sakes.

I very much enjoyed BBC2's The Restaurant last year and was enthusiastic when the new series started recently. But it should really have been a one-off. Monsieur Blanc is too big for his boots this year. He's choosing candidates purely on whether or not they will dance to his tune and nothing to do with their business capabilities. What put the tin hat on it for me was last week's dismissal of Helen and Stephen. Their marketing concept was the best. I could see that "Conquering Cabbage" would be a PR winner in these times of obese children and too much fast food. Maybe the execution was flawed. But it was far superior to the bland, minimalist book put together by those useless boys James and Alasdair.

Because James was a chef and can clearly cook, and is also suitably subservient, Blanc has kept him in the contest, even though he and his business partner Alasdair have been completely clueless in all respects.

Helen on the other hand, while only an average cook, showed that her food for families concept works. Her restaurant was always packed. But because she's too "controlling," as Raymond sneered, she was booted out. Yet in the previous week, she rose to the challenge of cooking for a private dinner party and did very well, whereas James and Alasdair left everything to the last minute and only narrowly averted disaster. I've lost a lot of interest - and respect - for the show now.

Cold and grey

Cold and grey has nothing to do with Strictly Come Dancing but it was the first thing I heard on the radio this morning. "Cold and grey." What a cheerful prospect!

Anyway, back to SCD and what a treat it was to see Kelly Brook and the loathsome Brendan in the dance-off. Kelly had been predictably babbling away all week about her dance not being very good and that she feared being booted off, but she does this every week and we just yawn and think "yeah right" because inevitably she then delivers a hum dinger (as my grandma used to say).

But this week she was right. Their dance, to Saturday Night Fever (a bad choice to start with) was lacklustre, repetitive and clumsy. It looked like a week one dance. I was glad to see Len tearing into them and their silly excuses about not enough time. The group dance may have taken 25 hours to rehearse but the other competitors managed to find enough time.

I can imagine the tongue lashing Brendan probably got after the humilation of the dance-off. I really hoped they would go but, darn it, the judges saved them. No doubt they'll be telling Claudia all week that it was a heart-stopping moment, a reality check, etc, and on Saturday they'll come back bigger and better.

As for the rest, the last two dances were simply irresistable with Matt and Flavia, and then Alesha and Matthew, weaving round the floor like dragonflies. They have broken away from the rest of the pack and currently look unassailable. The only doubt I have is whether or not Alesha can rely on the public vote as we get to the finals. Matt di Angelo can rely on the healthy EastEnders demographic, as can Letitita, who I think is extremely popular and a serious contender for the final three. But not having been in a group for a while, and not likely to appeal to the voting teenage girls or middle-aged women, I can't think Alesha will have enough support to win.

Gethin and Letitita both performed admirably but they're still a way behind Matt and Alesha. I was thrilled to hear Arlene tell Letitita that she is a beautiful woman and fabulous dancer. Earlier in the week, the marvellous Gok Wan said she had a gorgeous body and should be showing it off better. I agree! There's too much material in those dresses. Letitia, get your hooters out! Kelly has been doing it since week one!

Kate gets the long awaited boot

My SCD predictions were all wrong again, but who cares? Kate Garraway finally got the boot. Thank God! It had become embarrassing, the spectacle of brave Anton heaving her round the dance floor every week; her studied lip biting as the judges delivered their repetitive criticism and the flagrant begging for votes.

Even my normally mild-mannered partner had tired of Kate and was quite vocal last night bellowing "get that woman OUT!" in the manner of my mum watching an international rugby match (although "go on my son" is her usual refrain).

Let's hope we get rid of Desperate Dan next week (Kenny) as he's equally as bad, lurching and posturing, and Ola looks increasingly like a pug.

What of the rest? Well, as expected, Kelly's jive was very good, though I had to suppress a smirk that it wasn't quite as good as Jill Halfpenny's and Kelly had wanted to do the best jive.

There's something not very endearing about Kelly. The ingenue act of giggling and the faked surprise when she gets through is very transparent, as she's never been a great actress. Underneath all that is a steel will and determination to win at all costs. This seems to mean increasing amounts of embonpoint and leg, so my prediction is that by the final she will be wearing next to nothing (like the champion Latin American female dancer from last night).

For me the best dance was Alesha and Matthew's waltz, which was dreamy and romantic, everything a waltz should be. Normally the waltz seems to be a pedestrian spin round the floor with a few token heel turns (get me!). I also liked Gethin and Camilla's rumba. I thought the judges were a bit hard on Gethin. He did come across as quite romantic and passionate, which was hard for him. I noticed the judges didn't even mention him when they were talking about those likely to be in the last three, yet last week they were eulogising about him.

Letitia was good, not marvellous, and her dress was much improved - although they need to work a bit harder to find her waist. I'm sure it's in there somewhere.

John Barnes was boring, and a likely candidate for the chop next week as he seems less popular with the public than "Mr Scotland" Kenny. Fortunately for Barnsey, he's a judges' favourite. It seems more obvious this year which are their favourites.

Finally, on an aside: I'm astonished at how the merchandising opportunity has not been grasped. If you do a Google search for ballroom dancing / SCD, you don't get very much beyond the official book I had last year. Where are the dvds, the franchised classes, the costumes, the frank autobiographies? (The Nicole and Matthew Cutler story seems fascinating!). And here's an idea for the BBC: a wonderful Christmas special by having well-known singers perform with the professional dancers interpreting the song, as they do in the results show each week.

Don't vote to vote in the little poll, possums, and how about some comments? Let's liven things up in here!

My SCD predictions: Kelly to get a shock

Let's see what's in the old crystal ball for tomorrow's Strictly Come Dancing.
Hmm. Well I think Kate's number is up. I'm pretty sure she will go this week. Now that she's slightly improved, I don't think the public will vote for her in such big numbers, particularly as the judges are getting ever more self righteous about the public voting for the best dancers.
So I think it will be Kate in the dance-off....with.....either Kenny or Kelly. Now Kenny won't come as a surprise to anyone. He's lucky to still be there. His paso last week was nearly as laughable as Chris Parker's from series 1.
But Kelly is increasingly getting on my nerves, and also other people's. She's trying to redeem herself after coming across as a quasi-rebel with the illegal lift, and how is she doing this? By coming over all giggly and "oh I'm rubbish at the Viennese Waltz" on Claudia's show. Stifles yawn. That ingenue act might have worked, Kelly, had you stuck with it from the start and not got a bit carried away by the judges' comments in first couple of weeks.
So yes, I think Kelly could be in for a shock. Craig Revel Horwood didn't like the look of their waltz, and it's not a dance that Brendan includes in his repertoire.
I think Letitia will go from strength to strength, and am also expecting great things from John Barnes's salsa.

Let's see how it pans out!

Petulant attitude sends Dominic packing

Last week among all the hoo-ha and fuss about Gabby getting ejected from Strictly Come Dancing, there was one celebrity participant who didn't think it was such a bad thing. Dominic, the cheeky chappie ex-criminal, said that actually if some of the better dancers went, it meant those in the middle would have more chance of staying in. At the time, the comment jarred, as everyone else was weeping and wailing about Gabby. And I predicted that Dominic would duly be evicted this weekend because his attitude was starting to grate.

During the judging on Saturday, Dominic made no secret of the fact he was expecting low scores from the judges and didn't agree with it. Instead of smiling and being gracious, which always gets you public support, he frowned and rolled his eyes. He very clearly gave the impression that when the judges said he wasn't musical, they were making it up.

So as I expected, he was in the dance-off with John Barnes. I fully expected Kate to be saved again, but, I predict, this is the last time. I knew the judges would save John Barnes because they've always praised his naturalness and the way he moves to the music. Dominic on the other hand stomped around the floor in his paso like an angry troll. I wonder if he will have recovered his (maybe false?) cheeky chappie persona in time for Claudia's show tonight.

For next week I predict that the public is tiring a little of Kate and because she vastly improved this weekend, they're less likely to vote for her. Unfortunately the public has a cruel malevolent side which means they vote for people who are terrible to prolong their agony (remember I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, and the Appleton girl who kept being 'saved' to perform the trials?). So I'm predicting that Kate will be in the dance off along with Kenny. The judges will then get their long awaited opportunity to send her packing. Could Anton be given someone good next year? Please?

I hope Letitita keeps up the improvement but for God's sake get her a decent dress. It seems every year the costume department has their favourites (this year Kelly, Penny, Alesha) and the other girls are given something from scraps as an afterthought. Letitia's dresses are either mumsy or tarty, but never pretty or interesting.

It was good also to see Kelly and Brendan getting taken down a peg or two. After last week's illegal lift they were smug and thinking that they're mavericks, rogues and unassailable. Kelly insisted on breaking the feminist mould with some cape shenanigans, but she just looked silly. She didn't hurl it away properly and Brendan tried a couple of times to push it out of the way. The dance itself was lacklustre and Craig was quite right when he said they looked like they were dancing for themselves and not with each other.

At the moment the finalists are looking like Matt and Alesha. Anyone disagree?

Willie freed

We watched Strictly Come Dancing yesterday (Monday) after returning from Amsterdam. I was surprised to see John Barnes in the dance off, but it seems the GMTV loving public are going to keep rescuing Kate Garraway in the way they did with Fiona, so as long as she's saved from the bottom two she will dance again. A bit of a travesty of course because she was much worse than Willie Thorne or John Barnes. I bet the judges are spitting a pillowful of feathers that their ploy to save the better dancers is failing.

Anyway, it was a foregone conclusion that Willie would go because John Barnes does have a lot more natural rhythm, and in his black outfit, looked much more like a contender than when he was wearing lurid orange. He looked as if he'd shed a stone and a half.

The wardrobe dept was kinder to Letitia Dean too. Last week's purple dress was horrific but this week she looked good (and slim) in a full-length gown, and her dreadful hair extensions were out of the way on top of her head.

Poor Penny looked like a prancing cart horse but as they all said, the jive is very difficult for tall people. Ian Waite somehow makes everything look very light and natural, despite being tall, but he is wonderfully in proportion and has been dancing since he was six.

Kelly Brook and Aleesha Hamilton are still looking the stars, although it was good to see one of the boys, the kid from EastEnders (I forget his name) coming through. I thought Gethin was appalling: he looked like a plastic model from Thunderbirds. Talk about a frozen turkey. Kenny Logan continues to look like a terrified Shrek, and Gabby Logan, while technically OK, continues to grate. She will not last once the public get the chance to boot her out.

Gaby's face was a picture

It really was. When the Alpha Female Mrs Logan realised she wasn't in pole position with the judges, she gritted that jutting jaw and said fiercely she would be even better next week.

I'm talking week two of Strictly Come Dancing of course, when the ladies were unleashed on us in all their finery.

They really are going to be a tough act to follow. The boys seem a lacklustre, uncompetitive lot, content to clown around. But among the girls, it's very difficult even at this stage to separate Penny Lancaster, Aleesha Dixon and Kelly Brook. You then get category two - hugely determined to succeed at all costs (Gaby Logan), but likely in my view to be voted out by the public as soon as she gets a poor vote from the judges. Category three are the no hopers: Kate Garraway and Stephanie Beacham. Beacham looked great for her age. Her face was so immobolised by botox it was hard for her to show any emotion. She performed commendably well, but give her a Latin dance and she'll drown. Letitia Dean is a category two: she could do very well but she lacks confidence. A bit like Carol Smillie. And she does have lovely legs, slim all the way up, lucky girl.

I hope that Penny Lancaster wins: she's a nice gel and Ian Waite is a nice bloke, and they look wonderful together, and it's fun to see Rod looking proud. Kelly Brook is too darned perfect for her own good - though it will be interested to see if she's still with Billy Zane by the end of it. He's looking balder and more dull by the passing day. And weren't they supposed to have been married this summer?

As for Gaby, she's a dead ringer for Gollum and I'm sorry but those desperate-to-win athletic types do not perform well with the voting public. That's assuming if any of us are voting. With all the scandals I for one will not be going anywhere near a phone.

It's back! Strictly Come Dancing!

The return of Strictly Come Dancing is one of the few reasons to feel good about autumn. My spirits soared as the familiar music rang out on Saturday, even though it was only a preview show. It's just fabulous. I love it!

Without having seen one step yet from the eager new intake of celebrities, I'm willing to take a gamble and give you my tips for the top. The horses I'm backing, if you will permit me to mix my metaphors, are: Brian Capron, Alesha Dixon, Penny Lancaster and Matt Di Angelo.

Capron is a more mature participant, but he looks in good shape, he's an actor and actors/actresses traditionally do well, and I can imagine he's going to be quite light on his feet.

Alesha Dixon danced a bit with Misteeq and she looks very energetic and bendy.

Penny Lancaster has been photographed dancing and showing off her endless legs in many tabloid pictures, and she will look stunning with the tall fair haired Ian Waite, so I think she'll go far provided she's got a bit of a competitive streak. I fear she may be too nice.

Matt Di Angelo seems very confident and I'm backing him for no other reason than that!

I personally think (and I may of course be proved wrong) that "Hollywood actress" Kelly Brook will be wooden in the vein of Carol Vordermann, and an early casualty.(Hollywood actress? She's appeared in a few flops, mostly with Billy Zane, that went straight to DVD).

Kate Garraway will probably be better than poor old Fiona, and I hope she does well because Anton Du Beke is so lovely and he's never won SCD.

I'm stifling a yawn over the prospect of the double husband and wife pairings of Kenny Logan and Ola Jordan, and Gaby Logan and James Jordan. The sports people are always a turn-off for me in SCD because they're so damned competitive.

As to my prediction of who will get knocked out first: I would say either Willie Thorne or John Barnes.

Oh - and I couldn't resist taking a peek at the new series of Dancing with the Stars, the US version of SCD, on, of all channels, UK Gold. It must surely be the only "new" programme they have, and sits uneasily amongst endless re-runs of Only Fools and Horses and Fawlty Towers.

I wanted to see Mel B from the Spice Girls and Jane Seymour, two English roses. Oh, and Marie Osmond.

Mel and Jane both performed superbly, a credit to the UK, and both looked amazing. Mel, you go girl - I hope Eddie Murphy and his latest fiancee were gutted to see you on such sparkling form. And Jane Seymour, at 56 - how does she do it? (Yes I know, Botox and fillers probably, but she still has the figure of a woman in her 20s and that's very hard to get, even with surgery). Marie Osmond was OK. She's a good example of how botox and fillers can make you look a bit odd (Kylie is fast heading in that direction: Danii went down that road a long while ago).

Check back for regular updates!!